Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Seven

    There is an ancient belief that when a hunting expedition goes wrong or bad times befall someone, it is because they have done something wrong.  Whether they cheated, lied or murdered, people had an inherent fear of the repercussions of sinning.  So now I sit in the 21st century and mull over why exactly I have yet to harvest anything, despite two months of seriously devoted hunting.

   My first theory, the one I cling ignorantly to, is that God has decided that on the last day of bow season I will harvest the biggest buck ever known to mankind.  And that on the last day of duck season, I will shoot straight and the ducks will fall like snow in the January sky.  Yes, friends, God (prayerfully) has made it so that I will become rich and extremely famous with this gigantic deer and abundant birds.  The Outdoor Channel, Sportsman Channel, Outdoor Life Magazine, Team Real Tree, Hoyt bows and even Michael Waddell himself will beg me to be a star in their respective jurisdictions.  Of course I'll be modest, say it was nothing,  take them all up on their generous, selfless offers and hunt for the rest of my life while millions of my minions watch.  Ah the beauty of grandiose illusions.

   The second, more plausible theory boils down to me being a terrible hunter and possibly committing 7 of the deadliest hunting sins known to hunterkind.  You may have heard of the 7 deadly sins that the normal lay person can commit but you may not be aware of the sins that are applicable to the everyday hunter.  They read as the same sins but the underlying message is much more serious.  Since you have been here through the ups and downs of the last two months or so, I figured we should work it out together.

  Seven Deadly Sins- Hunting Edition

  Pride. 
        The sin which supposedly feeds into all others and was the main reason for Satan's fall from grace, it's influence makes individuals feel superior, or more deserving than others. 

   For hunters, Pride forces them into only harvesting big bucks or banded birds. The prideful hunter will bypass does, small bucks and other waterfowl just for that one big kill.  Not helping with conservation, this hunter focuses on big trophies just for personal gain. 

             Nope.  Not me. At this point, I'd shoot the smallest doe or a button buck. Color me desperate.   

  Gluttony. 
         Over-indulgence of food or drink.  Considered a sin as Catholics believed that people who hoarded food or luxuries were able but unwilling to help the poor. 

   In the hunting realm. gluttony can have disastrous effects.  Before a hunt, eating the entire contents of a table of sustenance will cause a hunter to have to prematurely abdicate their stand in order to find  quick intestinal relief.  On the other hand, if hunters who excessively harvest deer and do not use the meat or materials provided after the harvest, they are doing a disservice to the needy who could benefit from venison.  

         Negative.  I abstain from food before the hunt just in case I'd have to have a speedy exit.  Although I've never donated venison, I would.  I just need to get an excess of venison... 

   Avarice. 
          Greedy individuals are those who insist on hoarding everything.  Greed forces a person to yearn to attain wealth, power, as well as status by any means necessary, including robbery, murder, and the like. 

   Greed may be the biggest sin committed by hunters.  In order to attain a greater harvest or prestige in the hunting world,  individuals have been known  to poach on private land and hunt out of season.  Also, there are those who fail to tag their harvests or exceed bag limits for waterfowl.  

            I wouldn't be dumb enough to be swayed by this one.  Poaching, trespassing and exceeding bag limits all equal time in jail, hunting licenses revoked as well as a slew of other legal action. 

   Sloth. 
         Laziness, an aversion to movement and an overall sluggish attitude towards life defines this sin. Seen as wasting time, this sin can rob someone of their life. 


   We all know beds are comfortable and the fall wind seems to freeze bones solid but you still have to get your butt out of bed.  Sloth seeps under a hunter's eyelids and force them closed high up in the stand, causing injury or missing a big buck.  


    Guilty as charged. I love sleeping and some of the newer stands are more comfortable than our couch.    Deadly Sins: 1 HLYH: 3


  Envy. 
       Did Ron get a new RV?  I want it.  I won't be happy until I have everything that jerk has.  Including his wife.  Honey? Get ready for some intimate time with our plastic surgeon! Sound familiar? That's envy. 

    Envy makes it so that individuals want everything  bigger, better and can't enjoy his buddy's success.  You get a big deer? He's the Debbie Downer who congratulates you through gritted teeth and a plastered on smile. 

    I admit it.  I get a little envious with the deer, ducks, and amount of time DU gets to hunt.  But not so much so that I can't relish in his good fortune.  So lets give this one a half of a point.  

  Wrath. 
        Most likely one of the most popular sin, wrath induces individuals into throwing things, yelling and carrying on in an angry manner.  Wrathful people are unable to control their rage and express the feeling in destructive ways. 

   A wrathful hunter is one that I'm scared to encounter.  The simmering anger underneath a calm facade explodes after a miss or a badly placed shot.  Combine rage, guns, and the open outdoors and you have a recipe for an imminent, fatal disaster.

   A swing and a miss, Mr. Devil. I'm going with no on this one as well.  I'm not really the type to haphazardly fire into the abyss because of a missed shot. Jail isn't my thing.

   Lust. 
        I'm just going to leave this one be. We're all partially guilty. Half point.
     

   Well.  There we have it.  Deadly Sins- 2.  HLYH- 5. Not really enough evidence to back up the claim that I did something terrible in order to have such an unfruitful season thus far.  
  
    You know what that means! Get on your groveling knees, outdoor shows and magazines- HLYH is gonna bag a big one! Three cheers for blissful ignorance!



2 comments:

NorCal Cazadora said...

Oh no, now you have me worried! But seriously, I think I'll chalk up my miserable duck hunt on Sunday to just plain bad weather. Though I must admit I do think a lot about being a worthy hunter.

Love your new design! :-)

Hunt Like You're Hungry said...

Don't be worried! Just abstain from any of these sins! Weather of course is a big factor- makes me feel less guilty :-)

Thanks on the layout! I figured it was a little easier to read!